The divorce has been final for some time, you have a parenting plan, one or both of you have remarried, and you’re still fighting – why? When you have children your lives will never truly be separate. No matter how hard some couples try, with children you will always have need to interact and this is an opportunity for conflict. While this may simply annoy you, post-divorce conflict can be devastating to your children, so it’s time to fix it! Go back to mediation.
Mediation is not just for divorce, it is a conflict resolution process; anyone in conflict can benefit. Divorced parents who find themselves struggling are great candidates for mediation. Many parenting plans lack the level of detail necessary to help couples through the more stressful areas of parenting. To really work your agreement needs to address what to do when schedules change, a child is too sick to go to school, or discipline is handed out in one house and not followed through in the other. If you and your ex-spouse frequently disagree on which activities your child may participate in, if extra-curriculars seem to impede on visitation, if phone calls between you raise your blood pressure – you can create solutions for all of this in mediation.
A post-divorce mediation can allow you to legally update your parenting plan. As always you will not need to agree or sign any document you don’t want to. Mediation is always voluntary. However, mediation gives you the chance to update and tweak your parenting plan so that it truly works for your situation and addresses issues that might not have occurred to you when originally drafting the plan. A good mediator is trained to facilitate the conversation you must have to resolve your conflict. A good mediator will help you identify your areas of conflict and help you write a parenting plan that addresses those issues.
Of course mediation is not therapy, and couples can also choose to see a family and marriage therapist to deal with post-divorce conflict.
“It can be very useful for a divorced couple to seek counseling if they are struggling as co-parents. Counseling can help create agreement on some boundaries in regards to their communication with one another and in regards to parenting, “ says Dana Vince a Knoxville marriage therapist. “For example, if one parent sets out a punishment (no TV for a week) and the other parent doesn't honor that when the kids are at their house, that causes frustration and tension.”
Vince says that typically a few sessions is all that is needed in these cases and that new spouses can get involved if it's appropriate. She notes, “When seeking this kind of family therapy, the therapist can help determine who should and should not be in the room.”
You probably divorced because you were unhappy and in conflict with your spouse – so why continue to live in conflict? Mediation can help you become better co-parents and www.divorcebetterknoxville.com can get you started.
There truly is a better way.
A post-divorce mediation can allow you to legally update your parenting plan. As always you will not need to agree or sign any document you don’t want to. Mediation is always voluntary. However, mediation gives you the chance to update and tweak your parenting plan so that it truly works for your situation and addresses issues that might not have occurred to you when originally drafting the plan. A good mediator is trained to facilitate the conversation you must have to resolve your conflict. A good mediator will help you identify your areas of conflict and help you write a parenting plan that addresses those issues.
Of course mediation is not therapy, and couples can also choose to see a family and marriage therapist to deal with post-divorce conflict.
“It can be very useful for a divorced couple to seek counseling if they are struggling as co-parents. Counseling can help create agreement on some boundaries in regards to their communication with one another and in regards to parenting, “ says Dana Vince a Knoxville marriage therapist. “For example, if one parent sets out a punishment (no TV for a week) and the other parent doesn't honor that when the kids are at their house, that causes frustration and tension.”
Vince says that typically a few sessions is all that is needed in these cases and that new spouses can get involved if it's appropriate. She notes, “When seeking this kind of family therapy, the therapist can help determine who should and should not be in the room.”
You probably divorced because you were unhappy and in conflict with your spouse – so why continue to live in conflict? Mediation can help you become better co-parents and www.divorcebetterknoxville.com can get you started.
There truly is a better way.
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