My goal with this page is to describe the different paths Knoxville couples currently use to get divorced (see below.) There is also a new path you could take for divorce that I think appeals to couples who are intelligent, capable, are seeking as amicable a divorce as possible and are wary of spending more than necessary on legal fees.
A Better Way to Divorce in 3 Steps
1. Get Advice - legal, financial, emotional - this advice can be had from a variety of sources. Many family attorneys will meet with you for a free 30 minute consultation. This meeting will help you gauge if the attorney is a good fit for you and give you some general advice but you won't learn a lot about your specific case in 30 minutes. At some point you may also want to meet with a Divorce Certified Financial Analyst, a CPA, or a therapist to get specific advice and help with different aspects of your divorce.
2. You and your spouse schedule a mediation to discuss the terms of your divorce. A good divorce mediator will help you move through all of the issues that need to be addressed in your Marital Dissolution Agreement (MDA) and parenting plan. The mediator will keep you on track, help you brainstorm creative solutions, and help you include enough detail to produce a solid agreement. A mediator is not allowed to tell you what to do or give you any legal advice, rather I help you have those difficult conversations. In my practice I do not require couples to sign proposed agreements before having them reviewed by an attorney.
3. Have the agreements you discussed in mediation reviewed by an attorney. Preferably each of you will hire an attorney to represent your best interests. I can refer you to attorneys who offer limited scope services - meaning you can pay for a few hours of their time to review a proposed divorce agreement. One of those attorneys will prepare the necessary divorce papers and file them with the court.
CONGRATULATIONS - you've just completed the divorce process in the most amicable and cost-efficient way!
2. You and your spouse schedule a mediation to discuss the terms of your divorce. A good divorce mediator will help you move through all of the issues that need to be addressed in your Marital Dissolution Agreement (MDA) and parenting plan. The mediator will keep you on track, help you brainstorm creative solutions, and help you include enough detail to produce a solid agreement. A mediator is not allowed to tell you what to do or give you any legal advice, rather I help you have those difficult conversations. In my practice I do not require couples to sign proposed agreements before having them reviewed by an attorney.
3. Have the agreements you discussed in mediation reviewed by an attorney. Preferably each of you will hire an attorney to represent your best interests. I can refer you to attorneys who offer limited scope services - meaning you can pay for a few hours of their time to review a proposed divorce agreement. One of those attorneys will prepare the necessary divorce papers and file them with the court.
CONGRATULATIONS - you've just completed the divorce process in the most amicable and cost-efficient way!
Traditional/Other pathways to divorce
1. Agreed (uncontested) divorce with one attorney - this is what happens in quickie or cheap divorces you see advertised - see below
2. Agreed divorce, two attorneys - see below
3. Collaborative divorce - see below - THIS IS A GREAT OPTION - visit Knoxville Collaborative Divorce for more information
4. DIY - do it yourself divorce - no attorneys - see below - THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA - FREE divorce forms are available from the State of TN for couples who have no children, and do not own real estate together or have a business. I strongly believe every couple should use an attorney for divorce. However these forms are a good way to learn about the process and save money by knowing what information you need to gather together for your attorney.
5. Contested divorce, two attorneys - most expensive, and worst case scenario - see below
2. Agreed divorce, two attorneys - see below
3. Collaborative divorce - see below - THIS IS A GREAT OPTION - visit Knoxville Collaborative Divorce for more information
4. DIY - do it yourself divorce - no attorneys - see below - THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA - FREE divorce forms are available from the State of TN for couples who have no children, and do not own real estate together or have a business. I strongly believe every couple should use an attorney for divorce. However these forms are a good way to learn about the process and save money by knowing what information you need to gather together for your attorney.
5. Contested divorce, two attorneys - most expensive, and worst case scenario - see below
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More detail about the traditional/other pathways to divorce: Agreed Divorce with One Attorney (Uncontested Divorce) - If the parties can decide, on their own or with the assistance of a mediator, all issues in the marital dissolution agreement and parenting plan they then hire one attorney who will represent one of the parties. The other party must waive his or her right to representation and may not even meet with the attorney. The attorney files the paperwork on behalf of the party they represent. This is how attorneys who offer "cheap divorces" operate. It is a reasonable approach provided you trust each other and one of you is willing to proceed without legal representation. However, sometimes attorneys who advertise "cheap" divorces will fill out forms with cookie cutter options and not take time to tailor the parenting plan or dissolution agreement to your specific situation, this is why mediation is still a good idea when you choose this option. Agreed Divorce with two attorneys - Both parties hire an attorney to represent them and the details of the divorce are negotiated between the attorneys. Collaborative Divorce, Interdisciplinary Team Model - A Collaborative Team includes two attorneys, a financial neutral, and a divorce coach. The first difference between traditional and collaborative divorce is that all team members are committed by contract to help the couple reach agreement on the terms of their divorce. The attorneys are not allowed to prepare for trial or represent their clients if the divorce is contested. The divorce coach guides the process (scheduling and leading team meetings) and supports the couple through the emotional divorce. The financial neutral guides the couple through the financial divorce and the attorneys take care of the legal aspects of the divorce. This is a highly supportive, efficient, and restorative approach to divorce. In the case of high assets divorces a collaborative process can save a couple thousands of dollars in fees. Click here for a list of attorneys who offer collaborative divorce services. No attorneys, you file for divorce yourself - While it is legal and allowed in Knox County to file your own divorce papers it is generally not a good idea and some judges will not grant your divorce if the paperwork is incorrect. Divorce is complicated - there are many problems that could arise and cost you a great deal of money down the road if your divorce papers do not properly address all of the issues in your case. Contested Divorce, Two attorneys - This is the old way of business. You are mad at your spouse, you've been wronged, the gloves are off - or maybe there are just some issues you still can't agree on. This is the most expensive and harmful way to get divorced. There are absolute horror stories about couples who spend an extra $20,000 in legal fees fighting over $10,000 in assets - let alone the stress it puts on your children. If you or your spouse has already hired a shark attorney who takes an aggressive approach at least know this - you must mediate before you can go to trial. Unfortunately, some attorneys do not initiate mediation until the process is many billable hours along. They prefer to first unearth as much dirt as possible about your spouse, this is the discovery process, hoping to use it as bargaining chips at the negotiation table. In addition, it is fairly common in Knoxville for mediators to use "shuttle mediation". This means the parties and their attorneys are kept in separate rooms while the mediator runs proposals back and forth between them trying to reach a settlement. This is an inefficient process that typically increases the level of conflict instead of providing you an opportunity to communicate your true needs to each other. THERE IS A BETTER WAY! |
